I don't have an ultimate goal for my art, and I haven't ever followed through on a personal, explicitly artistic task that's more than a couple weeks' work, so I never really wonder about what my theoretical main long-term project would be.
Yet, very recently, the idea has wormed its way into my brain. I'm a total sucker for media that, in the end, makes me cry bittersweet tears, that embraces hope after suffering, a feeling with the warm colours of dusk (one of the best colour palettes to exist btw). It could be mediocre at best and still leave an impression.
Thus, I want to make something like that. The awe of something raw and full of love, infused with complete and utter understanding... I suppose you could call it my escape from hate and destruction, but I like the idea that to wholeheartedly adore is to rebel, to engage in a fight against that very abhorrence and judgement.
It wouldn't need romance, or to shy away from humour and angst, or to be perfect... it would just have to be compassionate and honest. I think that would be a better way to express my emotions — for as much as indulging in pain can be cathartic, it reached its limit for me a long time ago.
So much of what I've written has been either entirely humorous, angsty, or a combination, which is great and all, but seems woefully unequipped to dig into all the little things that do actually motivate me to continue on, all the moments where I feel truly and explicably alive, the thoughts that make rainbows swirl in the air as I lay down in my dimly-lit room and slowly blink at the ceiling.
Frequently, I long for time to stop or loop until I feel ready to march on forth, or to sleep and sleep until all my worries wear away and I can wake up to a situation I'm prepared for. I want to immerse in the sensation of being fully rested before I tackle the day, but I know it's unrealistic as things stand. I wish I had all the time in the world to soak in the colours of the sunset, and maybe the closest I'll ever get is to draw it myself.
Yet, very recently, the idea has wormed its way into my brain. I'm a total sucker for media that, in the end, makes me cry bittersweet tears, that embraces hope after suffering, a feeling with the warm colours of dusk (one of the best colour palettes to exist btw). It could be mediocre at best and still leave an impression.
Thus, I want to make something like that. The awe of something raw and full of love, infused with complete and utter understanding... I suppose you could call it my escape from hate and destruction, but I like the idea that to wholeheartedly adore is to rebel, to engage in a fight against that very abhorrence and judgement.
It wouldn't need romance, or to shy away from humour and angst, or to be perfect... it would just have to be compassionate and honest. I think that would be a better way to express my emotions — for as much as indulging in pain can be cathartic, it reached its limit for me a long time ago.
So much of what I've written has been either entirely humorous, angsty, or a combination, which is great and all, but seems woefully unequipped to dig into all the little things that do actually motivate me to continue on, all the moments where I feel truly and explicably alive, the thoughts that make rainbows swirl in the air as I lay down in my dimly-lit room and slowly blink at the ceiling.
Frequently, I long for time to stop or loop until I feel ready to march on forth, or to sleep and sleep until all my worries wear away and I can wake up to a situation I'm prepared for. I want to immerse in the sensation of being fully rested before I tackle the day, but I know it's unrealistic as things stand. I wish I had all the time in the world to soak in the colours of the sunset, and maybe the closest I'll ever get is to draw it myself.
(no subject)
Date: 2026-04-01 13:36 (UTC)id love to hear more about it !!!
(no subject)
Date: 2026-04-01 13:54 (UTC)