FFXIV references give me life, and then everything else kills me again

[zavodilaterrarium]

So, Ego Renegade Boy by flavorfoley.

When I was first listening to it, I kept getting caught off-guard by a specific noise, one that's eerily like that of the FFXIV duty pop sound. I thought it was coincidence, and didn't really consider it further. Then today, a friend shared this Tumblr post by cryoriku of this Bluesky post by yuri.mom and this YouTube comment by kristhemoth8799. The Bluesky post reads, "the hot new transmasc vocaloid murder anthem featuring kagamine len himself samples zenos yae galvus from final fantasy fourteen saying "the power to transcend" at 1:14". The YouTube comment reads, "1:13 a test of your reflexes", which is a reference to a different voiceline of Zenos yae Galvus. This reminded me that in the descriptions of other FLAVOR FOLEY songs (like rawdog ft. HAYDEN, 18+ recommended), Jaime Paige — one of the members of FLAVOR FOLEY — mentions being a FFXIV player, so it's very likely that they did in fact use the duty pop sound in the song and I'm NOT losing my marbles LOL

Anyway, other than that, turns out Lesti (one of my more recent online friends) kinda did/does have a crush on me.

I don't have a particular feeling about it overall, which is actually an improvement over the last time someone openly liked me! And I like to say this is also proof that I have game with girls, finally :cheer: She knows that I don't like her back, and doesn't seem too bothered, thankfully. On that topic, I again considered confessing to my crush just to get it over with but, unlike the last time I thought about it, the idea made me panic enough that my chest hurt. Sigh. Well, I don't think we could be right for each other at the moment anyway, so there's not really a reason to say anything yet.

I didn't go to uni today because I had poor sleep, a nightmare, and also swallowed my pills wrong in a way I've never done before, which put me on the edge of bursting into tears. Also today's work could all be done online so it wasn't really a big deal.

About the nightmare...

Keeping it brief, but essentially I dreamt that I had a life-threatening infection and the hospital couldn't/didn't help me. When I tried to explain to GuiGui my condition after being forced to go to uni like nothing was wrong, I forgot the words so badly that the dream morphed into me battling monsters that represented my inability to recall words. How fun.