Something something life is a lot

[zavodilaterrarium]

Finally got around to checking what units I qualify for considering I failed 2 things. Going ahead with Y2 stuff, but only parttime this year. Hopefully having only 2 campus days a week will let me rest.

3-4 days a week last semester was genuinely brutal — they weren't long or hard sessions by any means, but I am no longer in the state to handle it. 2 days in S1 was way better, and probably explains why I didn't crash and burn until after it was over.

By Year 12, I was so worn out mentally and physically that I was regularly sleeping 12 hours daily, completely unable to bring myself to do any work in the 4/5-ish free hours I had each schoolday. Thank everything that is over.

Lately, my wrists and hands have been a bit upset at me.

I'm getting more frequent symptoms of carpal-tunnel syndrome. It's unfortunate, but I saw it coming for various reasons.

In Year 12 and probably earlier, I had semi-frequent cases of my arms losing all strength (especially grip strength) from the elbow down. At the beginning, I'd assumed it was just stress, then I worried if I had some kind of mental condition or brain injury, before I settled on overuse+stress, which seemed to be right because it almost completely stopped after grad. It mostly affects handwriting, so the general lack of handwritten assessments so far has been a pleasant change.

What I experience now is mostly a pain between my metacarpals that is hard to describe. It's not sharp or pulsing, but it's not quite dull either. I suppose it's a touch similar to the "overstimulation pain" I sometimes experience on my skin (particularly if I forgot to moisturise) where it feels like getting sandpapered. In a way, it makes my hands feel delicate, like they might suddenly shatter (no, I don't think it's reasonable to assume I've actually broken anything, unless I've managed to get very even stress fractures in both hands). I would say it's weird that it happens in both hands, but I'm realising that beyond single-handed activities like drawing and writing, my usage is pretty even.

The other, uncommon symptom is a type of heat/tingling. It's pretty much the same as what I sometimes experience in my pelvic region during my period (I'm non-binary, btw) — it's extremely uncomfortable, and overwhelming to the point of pain (in a different way to what I described in the last paragraph). In fact, one of the first times I remember this symptom in my hands, it actually started as a full-body experience during my period, before the sensation eventually only persisted in my arms after a few hours.

Evidently, I really need lift weights for wrist strength, and do more stretches.

In less depressing news, games!

I tried out osu! and it is pretty fun, but I played it in a weird position and totally messed up my shoulder-neck muscles for a few days, so it's very much an occasionally-only affair.

Not gotten around to much HWL lately, but I did pick up Triforce Heroes somewhat again. It's much more fun with friends, but alas, everyone's busy.

Alexander lent me The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass. I don't like playing "one time experience" games often, but I hadn't indulged in one since P5R so might as well. It interested me due to the heavy use of the DS touchscreen and other features. I'm right at the boss of the Ice Temple, might complete it after posting this. I like PH so far, the graphics are charming and the touchscreen is mostly responsive, though it's a little awkward to constantly only have one hand fully holding my 3DS, so I've been switching between resting it on a table/my lap, or on my stomach when lying down.

Finally fought Irontomb in HSR and man, I kinda forgot how easily I cry. I haven't been paying attention to most of the story, but that doesn't matter to my tearducts aha.

Well, I'm hungry, tired, and need to shower, so goodbye for now.